I really figure this CD sucks. I can’t verify that, because it won’t play in ANY CD player in existence, a conclusion I reached after trying it in six different players and one computer. So, without anything to convince me otherwise, I assume it sucks. And I assume that not because it didn’t play, and not because it sucks to have a CD not play. No, I assume that because of the back cover art. I swear to God I’ve seen it before, and the mental picture I have of seeing it before is not a pretty one. Not a pretty one at all.
Among the relatively insignificant titles I’ve held in my life are two of the current ones, DJ and Program Director on a small college station in Port Huron, Michigan. Before I stumbled in there from the educational cold a few years ago, the station had spent a good chunk of time as the exact opposite of what a college station should be. It played easy listening and smooth jazz soul-draining crap exclusively. Because of that foray into the dark ages taken by the station, we to this day receive a plethora of CDs featuring shitty easy-listening/smooth jazz/crap so generic it could be played in a funeral home specifically to make certain none of the corpses consider waking up. Now and then, something that doesn’t fit in those categories appears, but apparently we’re not on the promo list based on music genre; it seems we’re on the list of people to send exclusively suck-filled CDs. No matter the genre, at the moment, pretty much anything that appears really does just genuinely blow.
I swear to god, this CD appeared at the station a few months ago, in the mail. It wasn’t directed or addressed to anyone there today, in the post-suck revitalized days. It was just there, spurt towards us by some diligently annoying distributor, like every pleasure-draining disc that appears.
I'm convinced of this because the back cover art looks familiar. The cover I recall was just as ugly, and the mental image scarring my mind looks just like this one. Profoundly generic as any other featuring some sort of psuedo-"edgy" abstraction by some artist that for all I know won the "who's gonna design this crappy band's cover" sweepstakes by default by being the self-tortured twat one of the guitarists in the band is currently banging. Or not. Either way, I‘ve seen it before, and I‘ve seen it in the context of being one more shitty promo that appeared in the mail…the same mail that OUGHT to bring us good music, but fails to do so regularly. Or else it just looks very similar to one of those discs of vile. Which isn’t a good thing either. Looking at it sure as hell doesn’t make me want to listen to it.
The front cover doesn't do much for me either. Generic creepy/scarry. Ah, the pain the ability to cut-and-paste sometimes inflicts on our eyes.
But none of that fucking matters, because I couldn’t listen to it, it wouldn’t play in any cd player I could find, which is doubly annoying considering I’m willing to bet it wasn’t worth that much damned effort anyhow. If I’d have heard it, well, I might say differently. But for now, I’ll assume this sucks and state such if only to save someone the pain of buying it or seeing the band play and being disappointed because no one warned them of the risk. Err on the side of caution. I guess that sums it up. If I can ever get the damned thing to actually play I’ll update.
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